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Eighteen 

Mckenzie 

 One Month. That’s all the time Roz had given me to get this party together for Ty. Granted that’s not a short period of time but for as extravagant as she wanted it to be, we might be cutting it kind of close. One week in and the only thing I had done was pick a venue. Luckily I had Nell willing to help me, I mean he did kind of owe me for helping him w/ his anniversary dinner a few months back. He was coming over today to help me with the invitations, he’d basically become my personal assistant and I was grateful. 

I hadn’t move from my spot on my bed since I woke up this morning.I needed to get up and put something on before Carnell popped up. The boy shorts and tank I was wearing were hardly appropriate. I huffed as I climbed out of bed and trudged over to my dresser. I pulled out the first pair of shorts and tee I touched and slipped them on. No need to dress up, we were staying in anyway.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth but paused when I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror. I looked down at my outfit and contemplated on changing. I frowned as I looked at Chris’s shirt loosely hanging from my body. I thought I gave him back all his stuff but occasionally I would stumble across something that belonged to him.Then he’d be on my mind for the whole day.Everything would remind me of him from little things like movies we watched together, songs on the radio, his favorite foods, even something as small as a scent. And no matter how much I hate to admit it it was happening more often than not, lately.

I absentmindedly brushed my teeth as i thought about Chris. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. I found myself wondering how he was doing lately. What was he up to? Was he still drinking? Was he still w/ Kiara? Who was I kidding? Of course he was but that didn’t stop me as I walked out of the bathroom. Before I knew it I had my phone in hand as I scrolled through my contacts. I never could bring myself to delete his number, it’s not like I didn’t know it by heart anyway. My finger hovered over his name as I contemplated making the call. Would he even answer? we hadn’t seen or spoken to one another in almost 4 months and our last conversation wasn’t really a pleasant one. But I just wanted check on him, no harm in that. I mean if he was doing good I would be happy for him. At the same time I would feel some type of way if he was doing better with out me ,cause some days were still a struggle for me. On the other hand, If he was doing as bad as Ty made it seem I would feel responsible. Really it was a lose, lose situation for me.But right now it was a chance I was willing to take,it was like I was in a trance and couldn’t stop myself even though I knew I should have.

Just as I was about to press the call button, the door bell rung. Carnell, I almost forgot about him. I sighed as I tossed my phone back onto the bed and skipped out of my room. I silently thanked god and Carnell for stopping me from making what probably would have been a big mistake. What was the point in re-opening healing wounds? We we’re both supposed to be moving on, so that what I should be trying to do not taking steps backwards. Not when I had come so far. 

“Hey Nell” I said as I halfheartedly smiled at him. I didn’t feel much like planning this party anymore. But I had a promise to keep and little time to pull it of. 

“Wassup.” He mumbled, walking in and wrapping me in a warm hug.”How are you?” He asked as he walked in.

“I’ve been better but whatever. You?” I said closing the front door.

“Ehh” Was all he said. I was going to ask what was wring but he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it so I just dropped it. Just one of those days for everybody I guess. I watched him as he went into the kitchen and starting raiding my fridge. This nigga always just made his right at home.I told him I’d be right back as I ran up the stairs. I learned a while back planning was much easier when I keep notes and an organizer.  

By the time I had comeback downstairs Carnell had made himself comfortable on the couch and was watching some sports channel. I plopped next to him and opened my notebook. 

“Come on Nell, lets get started.”

“What are we working on today?” He questioned as he turned the volume down on the tv. 

“Vip list and I got a few ideas I wanna run pass you.” The party would be open invite with a special VIP list. VIP got in and drank for free. Everybody else would have to pay, that way Roz could make back the money she spent renting the place out. Knowing her she’d fuck around and give it to ty as a gift.

“You gonna invite ya boy?” He smirked at me. Honestly I hadn’t even thought about inviting Chris to the party, but I guess I couldn’t leave him out. 

“Don’t really have a choice.” I sighed. “I mean he’s Ty’s best friend, I can’t not invite him cause ill be uncomfortable.” 

“You’ll be okay Kenz, ill be there” he smiled, and in a way that comforted me. We worked on the VIP list for a while until it was perfect. About 25 of Ty’s closest friends and a few family.

“What do you think about hiring gogo dancers for the event?” 

“I think I would love it!” He responded with a sly smirk across his face. 

“Hey watch it now before I tell Sade’.” I laughed. “By the way are you inviting her?” I had yet to meet her, not that I particularly wanted to after that little situation. But it might have been the perfect time to clear the air.

“No” he mumbled. “I wasn’t gonna say nothing but since you brought it up….I broke up with her.” I was confused. I had talked to Carnell every day and he hadn’t mentioned it at all. And he didn’t seem too upset about it right now. 

“What!?! When?” 

“Like two days ago.” He shrugged. 

“Well why?” 

“I’m just done with her, I can’t put up with her insecure ways or her constant bitching. Besides its hard trying to make a relationship work when you have feelings for someone else.” He said as he stared at me.  

I froze. What was he really saying right now? Feelings for someone else like who, me? Thats what I wanted to ask but my mouth wouldnt move. I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there staring off to the side waiting for him to speak again. 

“Mckenzie say something.”

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say Carnell.” I stuttered like an idiot and he sighed.

“When are we going to stop doing this Kenz? I’m tired of playing these games. We both know what I want. The question is what do you want?” 

“I’m not playing games Carnell.” I said simply.

“You not playing games, but there you go avoiding my question. Do you want me to spell it out for you? Mckenzie Carter, I like you, Shit I might even love you and it’s been that way for years. I just need to know if you feel the same way…If you don’t I’ll stop chasing you around. I just need to know.”

I sighed, I had been waiting for this moment for awhile. I just don’t know if now is the right time. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to try w/ him but I still wasn’t over Chris. I wanted to move on, I just didn’t know how but I didn’t think it would be fair to Carnell to start something If I couldn’t be fully invested in him. 

 “Mckenzie…I’m trying my hardest to remain patient but you’re starting to piss me off.” He said breaking me out of my thoughts. “Do you want to be with me or not?”

“I do, it’s ju-” I didnt even get to finish my statement before I felt his lips on mine.

Our lips moved in sync as he pulled me into him and I straddled his lap. My hands wrapped around his neck pulling him even closer as his roamed freely around my body.This kiss was much more passionate than the last one we shared and I was loving every moment of it. I paused and broke the kiss, he sighed as he leaned back probably thinking i was stopping him again. but that wasn’t the case this time. Right now he was what I wanted and I couldn’t be more sure. He was my friend first, he held me down through my hardest times in high school and was here to do the same now. If anybody deserved a chance it was him. I reached down and removed Chris’s shirt, tossing it somewhere across the living room. I removed all thoughts of him from my body and my mind as I stared down at Carnell. 

“Are you sure?” he asked sincerely. I simply nodded. I didn’t want to speak and ruin the moment. His hands reached the small of my back and he pulled me into him again. He kissed my lips once more before trailing his lips down my jawline and onto my neck. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, giving into him fully. This time I was going to let it happen, there was no stopping us. 

lmao his name is Carnell…I do too but admit it, her and Nell are cute.

I’m happy to be back love :) This can go one or two ways..Chris and get himself together or spiral out of control and yas Sade’ had to  go

I don’t mind ghost readers at all..I’m just happy anyone takes the time out to read anything I write. I just had a little rant and was just saying it only takes a sec to say ‘good chapter’ or ‘I liked it’. It encourages me to write buttt I’m back for good and thanks for reading hun

I knowww I missed ya’ll. Tbh I don’t either..I think she’d be cute w/ either or lol 

yayyyy!! I’m happy you love it !!

hey guh! Yes I’ll be updating on a more regular basis again, honestly I’ve missed this. Girl yas somebody needed to put Sade’ in her place and the way I laughed at that Trey songz comment lol…but I just might have Chris call her iono yet

Is it too late to update? cause I’m done…I’ll just empty the inbox and post in the morning

oh god no…i wish i was that pretty lol. Her name is bria